YOU! Yes you! Man of the Century! Today is a great day! You were chosen by us! To introduce you to our latest development!   THIS IS SUPER duper ultra mega alpha CRAB !!!   Our best scientists have worked to develop it! The smartest minds of mankind have gathered to develop it! Hundreds of ... no THOUSANDS of studies and tests before presenting it to you! We spent an hour on it ... YEARS of hard work and development! And we present to you what he can do.   His skills: 1. Our s.d.u.m.a. CRAB can walk! Like most crabs, he walks sideways, but do not underestimate this CRAB, he does it hundreds, thousands of times better than other crabs. 2. He is endowed with incredibly sophisticated technology that allows him to defend against any enemy attacks! Introducing the technology: B.L.I.N.K.I.N.G.! He can blink! No more dry eyes and sand stuck in the eyes! Amazing? Right? 3. In addition to protection, this killing machine is equipped with the latest weapons. Ladies and Gentlemen! We present you with C.L.A.W.S! Which he can CLICK!   You will never find such a CRAB anywhere else. This is the greatest invention of mankind! And you know what, my lord? We have chosen you to deliver it to you completely, please sit down, now there will be shocking news. We will provide it for FREE !!! This is incredible, I understand take your pills from the heart, tell all your relatives, friends, colleagues. And take it right now!   So don't forget to leave a review and see our other assets.      

Okay. This is all just a joke. But I hope you enjoy this crab. And it doesn't cost you anything to buy it. Literally. Enjoy. :)